I am traveling this week in Orlando. When I got dressed this morning, I ran my finger right through my pantyhose. Why in the world would I be wearing pantyhose in Florida? I do not dress for the outside, I dress for the very cool air conditioning inside. So when my hose ran, I was stuck. I could go without and freeze during the day, or just wear them. I went with the later. I had no time to go to the store and this was my final pair. My skirt was long enough to hide the run. So I put them on and headed out to start my day.
Only I knew about the run, which felt like a chink in my armor. You know, something that bothers you just enough to distract you. A weakness, a flaw that taunts your self confidence. It may not prevent you from working, it simply reminds you of your flaw and nags you throughout the day. As I moved and walked and bent down, I could feel the hole getting bigger and moving down my leg. It was as if the hole was mocking me, reminding me that someone might see my flaw.
The idiom refers specifically to a weak spot in a suit of armor. A chink in your armor is a nice name for an area of vulnerability. We all have some sort of weakness that we hope people will not find. We know it, we just don’t want others to know it. Or we may not want to face it, so we ignore it. Either way, the chink is there. It serves as a reminder that we are not perfect and that no matter how hard we try, we will never be perfect. It will play in our heads and pop up and remind us at the oddest time that we have a weakness. It will make us feel unworthy and unable to obtain what we want.
If we show others our weakness, they will know the real us. We are trusting them with the intimate details of our life. We hope they will not let us down. The chink also makes us vulnerable to someone who may want to utilize our weakness to their benefit. Someone who may want to hurt us for no other reason than they know our weakness. So we hide our chink and hope no one finds out. We work around it and try to keep it out of our mind. We do our best to be our best despite having a chink.
There is always the option to remove the chink in the armor. To open ourselves up enough for someone else to see the flaw and help us repair it. That takes time and courage, it may even take guts. It also takes trust. So which is harder, living with the chink or opening ourselves up for someone else to help repair our flaw? Sometimes we get so attached to living with the flaw and hiding our weakness that we would just rather live with it than change. It takes guts to change and repair or improve our armor. Sometimes it takes more guts than we have right now.
Whatever the chink is in your armor I hope that it as easy for you to shed as it was for me to throw away those torn up pantyhose at the end of my day. We are all flawed, it is how we choose to live with our flaws or remove them that truly prove our character.